Love Needs Protection

Just as anything of value needs to be guarded and protected, the same also is true with love. Love is one of the greatest gifts that you will ever have and just like all great gifts, we often take it for granted and do not fully appreciate it until it is gone. Don’t allow love to be left, lost, stolen or plundered because it was not protected in your life.

‘I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Revelation 2:2-4

The most important relationship in your life is your relationship with God. You must guard your love relationship with God. How easy it is to get “caught up” in serving Him and neglect our time with Him. We can persevere, endure and not grow weary for Him but if we are not spending time with Him then we have neglected and left out the most important time in our life and that is our own personal time with Him. When we neglect this area, then it is only a matter of time before we will neglect our other relationships, for God is love and we need to continually be growing in the love and truth which is in Jesus Christ.

But no one can enter the strong man’s house and plunder his property unless he first binds the strong man, and then he will plunder his house. Mark 3:27

Stay close to the Lord for He is the strong One and will not allow anyone to plunder what belongs to Him. You belong to Christ and He calls you His beloved. To belong to someone is to “be longing” for that one and to be called someone’s beloved means that you are the one that they are to “be loving”. In a similar way, if a wife stays close to her husband and longs for her husband, then no one will be able to take her away from him. If a husband is faithful to be loving to his wife then no one can enter his house and take what is his.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:24,25

When the Lord brought Adam and Eve together in marriage then He had specific instructions for them. Marriage is the most intimate relationship on earth and is the only relationship where there is a union of spirit, soul and body. The Lord says that He joins two people together in marriage and that they are not to be separated.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 18:4-6

Once someone becomes married to someone then that person is their spouse until one of them dies. The marriage vows and God’s Word is binding on the couple who get married. Marriage vows are made to protect the marriage. Love may bring a couple together but the marriage vows keep a married couple together. The Lord wants us to keep our vows that we made to God. Marriage vows are not made to each other but they are vows that each person makes to God. Do not say after you are married that it was a mistake. Life is not the same for the one who does not keep their vows and who sins and is foolish in their actions and words by not keeping their vows and saying that it was a mistake for them to have married that person. The Lord wants you to keep your marriage vows.

When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry on account of your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

If one of them is unfaithful and the unfaithful one does not keep their vows then it does not negate the vows of the other. If one of them leaves and marries another then it does not give the other spouse the “freedom” to marry someone else. They are only free to remain unmarried until the unfaithful spouse dies.

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. I Corinthians 7:10,11

The Lord gives clear instructions to the married couple. The wife is not to leave her husband, but if does, she is to remain unmarried. A husband is not to divorce his wife.

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. I Corinthians 7:39

If a woman who has been married and her first husband is still alive and she marries another man then she is committing and living in adultery. The man who marries her is also committing and living in adultery.

For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man. Romans 7:2,3

If a man divorces his wife and marries another woman then he is sinning as well. The Lord says that the husband is not to divorce his wife. A wife will not leave a husband who loves her. If a wife has left her husband then the husband needs to seek to be reconciled with his wife and pursue her in love.

“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:13-16

The Lord hates divorce. Divorce has never been in His plan. Divorce brings grief and destruction to all in the family. The New Testament never refers to a divorced person, only to one who is unmarried and that is if that one has been married before, but is not longer with their spouse who is still living. The unmarried are to stay unmarried. If there is divorce then remarriage is not permissible in God’s will. If someone leaves or is unfaithful then the other spouse is not under bondage to perform the marriage duties and they are not free to remarry. Protect your marriage. The Lord has made you one with each other. Guard the love that you had at the beginning. Keep your vows. The Lord is able to rekindle the love and restore your marriage.

Love Can Be Rekindled

If sin is what causes love to be quenched then doing what is right will help love to be rekindled and come alive again. Another word for doing what is right is righteousness. Often, the love grows cold because there is guilt involved and our pride makes it hard to say that we are sorry and to ask for forgiveness. We can forgive when we realize the tremendous amount of sin in each of our lives that Jesus Christ has forgiven. Again, it is our own pride that feels that we do not need God and that we do not need to walk in His ways.

But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Matthew 5:22-24

How easy it is to sin with our tongue when we are angry. The Lord says that if we even call someone a fool then there is guilt enough to send us to hell. The Lord says that we all sin with our tongue. Just as He was not mad at Adam and Eve when they sinned but He was sad for them, in the same way, He is not angry with you when you sin, He wants to help you make it right so that the devil does not destroy your marriage. He tells us what to do if we get angry with someone.

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26,27

Anger is really hurt and if it is not dealt with then it becomes bitterness or wrath, which is stored up anger. Be honest with yourself if what someone said or what they did hurt you. If you said something back then ask the Lord to forgive you and then ask the other person to forgive you. You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your actions. The Lord will help you do what is right. He loves you and wants you to experience love and life. God is a restorer and He wants to see your marriage and relationships restored when they have been damaged or broken.

And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.
Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places; Isaiah 32:17,18

As you learn to do what is right and follow the Lord in what He says then you will find that your home will be filled with peace and the love that you and your spouse have for each other will be rekindled.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9

As you learn to love and respond in love, rather than returning evil for evil or giving grief back when you have received grief, then you will reap love more and more. Loving another is a choice and a discipline just like any other virtue. The Lord loves us, fills us with His love and shows us how to love but we must act on what He has given us and shown us. The feelings of love come and go but the one who learns to love faithfully will reap love because He who promised is faithful. Do not grow weary or lose heart, for in time, you will be very thankful and you will see that what He says is true, if you are faithful.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:7,8

If you want to have love in your marriage and in your relationships then you must have the One who is love in your life and marriage. Jesus Christ is God and came to show us real love and bring love into our lives and relationships. Ask Jesus Christ to come into your life today if you have not yet done so and He will bring, restore and rekindle the love in your life.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

Revelation 3:20

Love Can Grow Cold

Most couples when they get married their love for each other is fresh and very much alive. However, as time goes on if they are not careful then their love will grow cold towards each other. Often one of them will feel that they are not “in love” any more. More than anything else, that is not the problem, but rather they do not understand love. Love can be quenched, as fire can be quenched, and seems like it is not as alive as before. However, when one understands more about love then they discover, just as a fire can be rekindled so their love for their spouse can be rekindled if they will follow God’s instructions on rekindling their love.

Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold.

Matthew 24:12

Lawlessness can be simply defined as sin. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God then they were being lawless. They were wanting to live under their own law and not under God’s law. They thought that they knew better.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. You know that He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin. No one who abides in Him sins; no one who sins has seen Him or knows Him. Little children, make sure no one deceives you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous; the one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning. The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil. I John 3:4-8

The devil is the father of lawlessness and he is the one who deceived Eve into temptation and when she gave into temptation then she sinned. He wanted to destroy Eve, her relationship with God and her marriage and everything else that was precious to her. Jesus Christ came to take away our sins and to destroy the works of the devil. Satan, the devil, came to destroy and he still wants to destroy.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John10:10

Jesus Christ came to give you life and to bring love into all of your relationships. He wants to rekindle your love for Him and for your spouse and whoever else you may be estranged from that He designed for you to be in a relationship with here on earth.

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, I Peter 5:6-9a

The beginning of rekindling your heart to know love and to give love is to rekindle your relationship with the Lord if you belong to Him. If you have not yet given your life to Him then do it today. He will come and live within you and give you a new heart and a new love for your spouse and everyone else. This is what it means to humble yourself before the Lord, it is to say, ” I need you, Lord. I don’t know what is best for my life or for my marriage or whatever relationship it may be.” Please be my Lord and my Savior. He will hear that prayer. Then cast all of your anxiety on Him. He loves you. Next, be on the alert for the devil and resist Him through the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and His Word. The devil has to flee at His name and His Word. The name of Jesus Christ and His Word has authority over the devil because Jesus Christ defeated the devil at the cross. This is what that promise means that the Lord gave to Adam and Eve.

And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her seed;
He shall bruise you on the head,
And you shall bruise him on the heel.” Genesis 3:15

Jesus Christ was the seed of the woman who bruised Satan on the head. Jesus Christ was the One whom God was sending into the world to defeat the devil and to destroy his works. Jesus Christ conquered on the cross the death that came through Adam and Eve’s sin in order that we might be reconciled back to God and live forever in His love. Since Jesus Christ so loved us we also can love one another. Love can be rekindled in relationships because of and through our relationship with Jesus Christ.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11

Love Overcomes Evil

The Lord says that we are never to repay evil for evil. One of the meanings of evil is to cause grief. When someone causes us grief then the temptation is to return grief to them.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Romans 12:17a

The Lord says never to do return evil for evil but rather we are to overcome evil with good. This word good means the highest form of love. It always takes two to argue or fight. If one will refuse to return grief but chooses to give love rather than trying to hurt the one who has hurt them then there is no contention.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21

The Lord says that it is foolish to quarrel with one another. Keep away from strife and keep strife out of your marriage and family.

Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man,
But any fool will quarrel. Proverbs 20:3

The Bible describes a foolish person as one who consumes. They will consume you and your life if you allow them. Stay away from a fool. They only bring destruction to themselves and those whom they are around.

But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. Galatians 5:15

Don’t even begin to quarrel. You both will say things that you will regret. You can not take back your words and your words destroy the one who you are supposed to love. After the argument is over then you have two defeated and sad people.

The beginning of strife is like letting out water, So abandon the quarrel before it breaks out. Proverbs 17:14

Turn to the Lord rather than turning away from Him. When there is a disagreement or someone has been hurt then be quick to ask forgiveness and to say that you are sorry. Humility goes a long way in healing hurts. Don’t be arrogant. There are always things that you do not know. The Lord is a present help in time of trouble.

An arrogant man stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the Lord will prosper. Proverbs 28:25

Love seeks reconciliation and gives grace rather than wanting the other person to be proven wrong and disgrace. Love covers a multitude of sins.

Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12

You will discover as you show mercy to others then you both benefit. If you are not merciful then you do harm not only to the other person but to yourself as well.

The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm. Proverbs 11:17

The Lord is merciful to us and He does not give us what we deserve. Love others as the Lord has loved you.

We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. James 5:11

Being a Christian means that we do not want to be controlled by our flesh and do what our flesh wants to do but we want to be controlled by God’s Spirit and we want to do as we ought.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24

You will find that as you walk in God’s Spirit and live according to the power that He has given to you that you will be walking in obedience to Him. You will be fulfilling the Law by loving your neighbor as yourself. This will keep you from sinning and suffering the torment of regret and sadness of destroying those who you want to love the most. You will see that love overcomes evil and you will both be blessed.

For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. Galatians 5:14-17

Love Gives Identity

Love is relational and relationships give identity. When a man gets a wife he becomes a husband and when a woman gets married she becomes a wife. A man becomes a father when he has a child and a woman becomes a mother when her baby is born. Love gives identity and purpose and meaning in life. Relationships define the people who are in them.

The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:20-23

Man did not name himself until the Lord brought Eve to him. When he had finished naming the animals then the Lord brought Eve to him and Adam immediately recognized her and said, “this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman…” and then he called himself man. His identity came from his relationship with God and his relationship with Eve. God loved Adam and Adam loved Eve. Adam’s love for God was a response to God’s love for him and Eve’s love for her husband is a response of Adam’s love for Eve.

We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Someone once said, “Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:24,25

Adam and Eve were the only part of creation that could receive and know God’s love because they were the only part of creation that had a spirit. Love is spiritual and man receives love through his spirit and experiences it through his soul and expresses it through his body. Adam and Eve became husband and wife and with their identity came meaning and purpose in life. Love brings fulfillment as we fulfill the purpose for which God created us. Adam and Eve needed each other to be the person and to do that which God had created them to do. Eve was to become a mother and once again she would receive a new identity and a new purpose in life.

The Lord God planted a garden toward the east, in Eden; and there He placed the man whom He had formed. Out of the ground the Lord God caused to grow every tree that is pleasing to the sight and good for food; Genesis 2:8,9a

Love provides what is good. The Lord was not only Adam’s Creator but his Provider. The Lord provided everything that Adam and Eve needed. He gave them a home in the garden of Eden and the Lord gave them each other to love and to be loved. He gave Adam work to do, for God made man to work and He called Eve to be a wife and a mother. He made Adam for the dust of the ground so he related to the world and his work involved the world. God made Eve from a person and a woman relates to people and so her work involved people. Adam and Eve lived in a perfect world with an identity and purpose. God’s love had given their lives meaning and fulfillment. They loved God and loved each other. If only…they would not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil then they would live in this perfect state of love and harmony with God and each other forever.

“But he who sins against me injures himself;
All those who hate me love death.” Proverbs 8:36

The Lord has not changed. He is good and His plans for us are good. His design for marriage is good. If only we would keep His commandments and follow His instructions then we will live and our relationships will be filled with love. If only…we would not sin. It is sin that brings death to our relationships and marriages. It is sin that destroys all that is precious to us. When we sin against God then we hurt ourselves and if we hate what He says then we love death.

Love Is to Be Expressed

Love is a gift that is meant to be expressed. Love is not love until it is given away. Love is a gift and must be received if it is to be known. God is love and unless one has received God into their life then they have never known unconditional love. Jesus Christ loved us and died for us when we were His enemies and when we had no love for Him. His love was not conditional on our love for him.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Everyone longs for unconditional love in relationships, that is, a love that accepts them for who they are and not a type of love based on what they have to give or offer to the one who says they love them. Unconditional love is God’s gift to us.

the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23b

This love of God which was expressed through Jesus Christ is the greatest gift that we can receive and that we can give to another. Just as this gift did not come without a cost to the One who gave it, so also, when we give this gift it does not come without a cost to us.

And forgive us our sins,
For we ourselves also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. Luke 11:4a

Unconditional love begins with forgiving the debt that is owed to us. When we love and forgive the sins that others have done to us then we are being like Jesus Christ and expressing His love. We are forgiving a debt that we did not owe. We are loving as Christ has loved us and we are loving as we want to be loved.

Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10

Before Adam and Eve sinned they did not need any laws other than the one that they Lord gave them to “not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil”, in order to allow them to express their free will in loving Him by honoring Him in what He said. In the same way, the one who loves as Jesus Christ has loved us is free from any laws, for love is the fulfillment of the law. God’s laws were given to instruct us how to love God and how to love each other. They were not given to restrict us from any good pleasure but that we might enjoy the good pleasures He has for us.

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

Jesus Christ came to give us life and to make known to us the path of life. He came that we might live forever in God’s love and experience the fullness of joy and His pleasures forever. When we know Him then we become secure in Him and His love. It is His love that allows us to love others with the love which we have experienced. An unconditional love is a love that is not based on who someone is or what someone has but a love that accepts the person in spite of shortcomings or what they have done. It is a love that comes from the one loving and not from the one who is loved.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. I John 3:1-3

Although many in the world do not yet know Jesus Christ, they can see the love of God as it is expressed through those who know Him and have been born again. All men will know that we are His disciples and belong to Him if we have love for one another. God has loved us and His love is meant to be expressed to others that the world will see what it means to know Him and follow Him.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34,35

Love Can Be Found

Just as love can be lost, love also can be found. Those who find love, that is, true unconditional love, are never the same. Love changes a person. Love brings life to the spirit, soul and body of the one who finds love. Love is meant to be experienced. This is what it means to “know” love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:7,8

God is love and the one who knows God will also know love. Love is spiritual but is felt and experienced in the soul and expressed through the body. Adam and Eve had no love of their own apart from God.

Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3

Just as the Bible says that everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. One has to be born again to experience the love and the knowledge of God. Until one is born again he is still separated from knowing and experiencing the love that God has for him.

Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. John 3:3-6

Just as the spirit of man died when Adam and Eve sinned so also his spirit must be made alive. Man is spiritually made alive when he becomes born again. For this reason, it is not enough to know about God’s love with the mind and even feel it with the emotions, unless we have been born again. It will only be an intellectual belief or an emotional faith until one is born again. When a person is born again, they are no longer separated from God but they have become restored in their relationship with God through the Spirit of God. God’s Spirit has become united with their spirit to make them spiritually alive. The born again one not only knows about the love of God but God’s Spirit has caused them to born again into God’s own family and they now have found and discovered God’s love for them personally. They have become a child of God and a recipient of God’s love forever.

Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:7

There is no other way to find love than through being restored back into a love relationship with God through Jesus Christ. God sent Jesus Christ into the world that man might be restored to the love relationship that God had with Adam and Eve before they sinned. Jesus Christ did not come into the world to judge man but that man might be restored and know God’s love.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:16,17

When God saves a person, they are saved and restored in their spirit, soul and body. They are saved from eternal death and given life in these three areas. When one is born again he can now love and worship God in his spirit, love and pray with his spirit and his soul, and love and serve God with His spirit, soul and body. He has been given a new life in Christ and every area of him experiences the love of God in Christ Jesus. When someone is restored to God and finds God’s love then he has found the greatest treasure of all.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

Just as Adam and Eve lost everything pertaining to life when they sinned so also when one receives Jesus Christ into their life and is born again, they find not only love but everything else pertaining to life.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

Love Can be Lost

When Adam and Eve ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil the Lord said that they would die. The Bible says that the sin brings death. Man earned death when he sinned.

For the wages of sin is death, Romans 6:23a

The death that man experiences is first in his spirit. Man becomes separated from God spiritually. The spirit is what God made to commune with God. God is Spirit and those who know Him communicate in a spiritual way with God. They worship Him in spirit, they pray or talk with Him through their spirit and He speaks to them through their spirit. Man is the only spiritual creation that God made and separates man from the rest of all creation. When God made man in His image part of that was that God made man spiritual, to know Him and to be in a relationship with Him. That love relationship was lost when man sinned.

God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” John 4:24

The death that man next feels is the death to his soul. This death brings the shame of evil and the knowledge of the good that they have lost. One of the aspects of the meaning of good is the highest form of love and so when we sin then we lose experiencing and feeling love from the One whom we have sinned against. The relationship is no longer the same until it is restored. The love has been lost. God still loved man when he sinned but man no longer felt that love. It was lost to him. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions. Death to the soul brings the knowledge of the good thing that we had and we lost through our own foolish actions. It is that sick feeling of regret that we feel after we sin. Also, because we have sinned now our will has become a slave of sin and we sin again in the same manner even though with our mind we know it is not good.

Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin. John 8:34

The last death that we will experience will be death to our body. This death is the destruction that we bring to ourselves through our sin. When we sin we lose the healthy love that we should have to take care of our own body. If Adam and Eve had not sinned then they would have never died. They would have been able to live forever in the presence of God and experienced the delight and joy of being in the garden with Him. We have all inherited the death that Adam brought to us when he sinned. Sickness and death is a part of the curse that came when man rebelled against God by not obeying Him.

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered into the world, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men, because all sinned— Romans 5:12

So, when man sinned he not only came into the knowledge of evil and lost his innocence and experienced shame but he also came into the knowledge of good. This knowledge of good is what revealed the darkness and sickness of sin and with it came great fear. The knowledge of good that man had now lost was the experiential knowledge of the love, the peace and the incredible joy and delight of a perfect relationship with God and the rest of creation. This knowledge of good brought the torment that one feels knowing what they have lost. One does not miss what one has never known. The knowledge of evil takes away the innocence of trust, of true love, of believing the best and of not fearing. Man lost everything pertaining to life when he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but most importantly he lost the delight of living in and experiencing God’s perfect love every second of every day. Adam and Eve also lost the perfect love that they had for each other and with it the trust and innocence in their marriage.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18a

Love Is to Be With

Love is to be with the one whom you love. A person’s presence is one of the greatest gifts that they can give to the one whom they love. The Lord gave Eve to be with Adam.

The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, Genesis 3:12

It is not good for anyone to be alone for very long.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18a

The Lord made us to be in a relationship with Him and to be in relationship with others. Woe to the person who falls and there is not another to lift him up.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A marriage with Jesus Christ as the head of the marriage and family will not quickly or easily be torn apart. One who is married will not stay down when they fall if their partner will life them up through prayer and encouragement. A family that prays together stays together.

And He went up on the mountain and summoned those whom He Himself wanted, and they came to Him. And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him and that He could send them out to preach, Mark 3:13,14

Jesus chose His disciples because He wanted them to be with Him. He wanted them to be with Him before they served Him. The Lord made man because He wanted man to be with Him. He did not need man but He loved man and delighted in Him. In a similar way, the Lord made Eve to be with Adam.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:12a

The Lord gives a wife to a man to first be with her husband. Notice that the Lord did not give Eve any job to do other than to respond to her husband. A woman needs to be with her husband and learn to respond to him first and then to love her husband by serving and helping him according to his needs. A man marries a woman because he believes she wants to be with him. A man longs to be wanted just as a woman longs to be loved.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands,Titus 2:4a

The word “love” in this verse means to be with and delight in, in other words, to want her husband. This is the only time in the Bible this particular word is used. It means that the wife is to be a “lover of her husband, in other words, to delight in him”. This is also what the Lord desires in His bride, the church. Jesus Christ wants us to delight ourselves in Him.

Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

Even greater is the fact that the Lord delights in His children.

But the blameless in their walk are His delight. Proverbs 11:20b

The Lord loves those who are His and especially delights when they come to Him in prayer.

But the prayer of the upright is His delight. Proverbs 15:8b

Love means to be with the one whom you love. The Lord loves it when we come to Him and delight ourselves in Him. A husband loves it when his wife wants him and even more when she tells him she wants him. A wife loves it when her husband wants to just be with her and listen to her. Children will do almost anything for their parent to be with them. If you love someone then you want to be with them. Jesus Christ came down to earth to be with man so that He could remove the barriers forever so that man could be with God forever.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

Love Needs Good Friends

If you want to find love and keep love in your life and in your marriage then you need good friends. You will become like your friends. If you choose good friends then you will do what is good and right. If you spend time with people who compromise and do what is wrong then it is only a matter of time before you will do what is wrong. Love needs to be nurtured and a truly good friend will encourage faithfulness, love and respect in your life, marriage and friendships.

Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” I Corinthians 15:33

Moral excellence is the root of true love. Love and trust go together and if there is not moral excellence then there will not be true love. Bad friends corrupts good morals. When Adam and Eve sinned the Lord asked them who told them they were naked and had they eaten from the tree of which He told them not to eat.

And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” Genesis 3:11

Eve should never have been talking with the serpent. When the serpent questioned whether the Lord had really said something that was evidence enough that he was bad company. The serpent questioning God’s Word engaged Eve in a dialogue of which the serpent would eventually question the consequences of disobeying.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” Genesis 3:1

The serpent questioned what the Lord said and then he questioned whether anything would happen. He put doubt in Eve’s mind. Someone who doubts God’s Word can not be trusted.

The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! Genesis 3:4

The Lord did say not to eat from the tree and the Lord did indeed say that they would die if they did so. If the Lord says something then He wants us to believe it. It does not matter if no one else believes it. Unbelief leads to disobedience. If you want to grow strong in love and faithful in obedience then you need to have good friends who will point you to the One who is love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:7,8

A true friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord and what is best for you than their friendship with you. They will want what is best for you over what you think of them.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6

We all have a need for friends. If you are a wise and good friend to others then you will attract the same kind of people who will want to have you as a friend. A true friend loves at all times and will protect you from being vulnerable to the wrong kind of people.

A friend loves at all times, Proverbs 17:17a

A wise mother will know her child’s friends. She will ask “who were you with?” and “who told you to do that?”. Other than choosing to follow the Lord the second most important decision is “who” will be your friends. If you want to guard and keep the love in your marriage then you will be very careful who your friends are. Many an adulterous affair has happened with a good friend of the couple. If someone is not faithful to the Lord then they can not be trusted. Also, a husband should never be alone with another woman other than his wife nor should a wife be alone with any other man other than her husband.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? Proverbs 20:6

Many a person will proclaim or pretend to be a friend but truly good friends are rare and more precious than anything money can buy. Jesus Christ came to be our friend when He laid down His life for us. Those who choose Him first to be their friend will learn what true friendship is and will recognize a true friend when one comes into their life.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

When you are married then your best friend should be your spouse. Friendship is the union of two souls and the Lord brought Eve along to be Adam’s companion and friend. A great marriage is made up of not only two lovers but two soulmates.